Anxiety - Looking at Self Esteem - Stop Rating Yourself

In today's article we are going to take a look at one of the most debilitating factors of anxiety. We are going to have a look at the thing no-one really has enough of and learn how to improve our self-confidence and our emotions by boosting our self-esteem. After all, feeling good about yourself is a key step to overcoming the cycle of anxiety.

Stop Judging and Start Accepting

In the culture of today we place a great deal of importance on rating ourselves based on how we perceive other people think about us. Judging our achievements and successes by other people's standards effectively means that we are literally not using the right rod to measure ourselves. After all, life is not a continuous state of solidarity and sameness; each and every day is different, so that yardstick we use to measure ourselves by needs to change. Life is, by definition, unpredictable and so can our mood and self-esteem be, if we let them.

Many people struggle with the issues of self-acceptance more than others. They are under the impression that self-acceptance is the equivalent of admitting to failure, or giving up, but this is completely wrong and rigid thinking. After all, self acceptance isn't saying "Hey, I failed at this, I'll always fail at this'; it's more accurately saying that yes we can't be perfect at everything and that's ok, but also making the deal with yourself that you change the things that aren't acceptable.

One of the critical mistakes people make in their own self rating or judgment is in the assumption that we can be rated, judged or estimated. The truth is, we aren't cars on a lot, or flowers in a shop - instead we are living breathing people and whilst we can easily put a value on say a car, putting a value on ourselves is prone to a great number of difficulties and problems.

When we're suffering from anxiety, often the biggest mistake we make is that we judge ourselves too poorly. So today we're going to try something new and altogether revolutionary. We're going to float the idea that you should stop judging, and start accepting people and ourselves for simply being human.

Losing the Labels

How many times have you called yourself a loser, a failure, inferior or crazy? Often one of the many examples of unfair things that we do to ourselves is wrongful self-labeling. By calling yourself names, you are only putting yourself down. Whether it is out loud or in your own head, self-labeling is an extremely critical and negative aspect of inappropriate self-judgment. After all every negative label we use often has a positive alternative. If you've ever called yourself a failure, think of something you have succeeded at.

Struggling to think? Well, you have got this far, haven't you?

Take a look at the list below; there are a lot of "bad names' or labels that are commonly used. But can you see for every negative thought we have about ourselves there is an equally valid positive one? Instead of calling yourself a loser, ask yourself what you lost? What you failed at? After all, failing at something does not mean you fail at everything. Just like the examples below - next time you call yourself something bad, ask yourself why you did that and then call yourself something good.

The key technique of losing your negative labels is to resist using them. By identifying what negative labels you give yourself and coming up with self-accepting alternatives as in the example below, you can catch yourself in the act and refuse to call yourself offensive names.

Notice, just writing down a more positive way of looking at yourself doesn't make you automatically believe this. Therefore, it's important that you truly reinforce your belief in them by actively saying your positive self-acceptance alternatives to yourself. Besides this, the more proof that supports your new self-accepting attitude, the more you'll reinforce it as true. For that reason you are going to come up with specific proofs that support your new self-accepting attitude as in the example below:

Help is available online - use the links below to learn more or to take a test.