Anxiety - Problematic Behavior

If you know what your problems, or even your "perceived" problems, are, then it's much easier to change them. Last article had a worksheet in which you chose your top five problems. In this article we are going to take another look at that worksheet and expand on how you see your problems.

Last time, we asked you two questions:

Do problems fall into one specific category?
Do problems overlap?

Chances are, you reached the same conclusion we did. Problems never simply fall into one category, because everyone has multiple problems in multiple aspects of their life. We can't be perfect in everything, and even if we were, we would still have to face many different problems. But, whilst our problems are all uniquely different, normally there is a degree of overlap. For example, one of the common problems people suffer from is not being able to sleep. Another problem is that they worry about something. These two problems are different, yet you can see one is a follow-on from another. By looking at your problems, and seeing what leads to what, you can start to do something about eliminating the great chain reaction of issues many people face.

For many people, anxiety is what happens when one of those "chain reactions" comes together and everything becomes too much. This is where CBT comes in handy, because we can learn to separate our thoughts, emotions and behavior in order to rationalize what's happening and find a better way to deal with things. When we have too many problems, they tend to affect our thoughts, which in turn affects our emotions and then subsequently these "disturbed" emotions actually lead us down a twisting path of self-hate and negativity. This is part of avoidance and it's a well-known coping strategy for many when it comes to dealing with anxiety.

Unhealthy behaviors

Suffering from anxiety or any emotional disorder doesn't make you a bad person. But, the negative thoughts and emotions can drive us to behave differently. Our unhealthy behaviors work as coping strategies and whilst they may seem effective at first, they are actually just causing damage over the longer term by fueling the anxiety. Below are typical examples of various forms of negative, self-destructive behaviors that we're all known to get up to when the chips are low and we really feel anxiety. Choose the ones that fit in with your unhealthy behavior.

The unhealthy behaviors we looked at in the last section can all be divided into these three types of negative behavior according to the figure below.

By comparing your choice of unhealthy behavior with the division, you get a clearer picture of your behavioral patterns and therefore also a clearer picture of problems you need to address. If your most common unhealthy behavior falls under the avoidance category, in the short term you are probably feeling that your unhealthy behavior is helping you since it helps you to avoid the situations that make you feel bad. In the long term, however, you are fueling your anxiety by not giving yourself a chance to discover that you can survive without all of your avoidance behaviors.

Looking at Avoidance

Avoidance plays a major part in dealing with anxiety and those who sink into major anxiety are in the grasps of serious avoidance. For many, it can be tempting to effectively give up, and hide away from the world, but the truth is avoidance does nothing but fuel a life that is less enjoyable, less rewarding and more problematic. One of the major signs of avoidance is when people start to avoid the things they normally enjoy, or even loathe, for that matter. Sometimes, we overindulge in activities we enjoy as well, in order to block out the outside world, so it's important to know when you are enjoying something and when you are relying on it as a blocker. Suffering from anxiety takes time to work through, but dealing with avoidance is one of the best ways to do it. Take a look at the following form and have a go at gauging your own personal level of avoidance.

Your most significant negative behavior

Previously, we have done something similar with our problems, ranking the top five problems so that we could look at how they were related to us and what importance they played. Now we are going to take a look at the same thing, but for our behavioral problems. Using what you have learned in the previous sections about unhealthy behaviors, think about the three categories we discussed (avoidance, self destructive and mood lowering) then think of the top five behaviors which you notice most in yourself. Be inspired by the examples we gave you in the last worksheet or come up with your own ones.

Challenging your unhealthy behavior

When suffering from anxiety you use a lot of different behavior strategies, like avoidance, to cope with your problems. Unfortunately these strategies will, in the long run, only prolong your anxiety. Very often, doing the exact opposite of what you feel like doing is the best way to overcome your anxiety, in the long run.

Now that you have identified your unhealthy behavior you are going to challenge them so that you can start to behave in a way that will help you to overcome your anxiety. You're going to do this by looking at specific unhealthy behaviors, coming up with alternate healthy behaviors and scheduling time for these new positive behaviors. Look at the example below:

Now it's your turn! Remember, it won't be enough to just come up with and write down healthy behaviors and schedule time for these to be carried out. You have to take actions, so for the next couple of days really focus on getting the things done that you have scheduled. The power of overcoming your anxiety lies in your hands.

Help is available online - use the links below to learn more or to take a test.