Conquer Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - the Fear of Abandonment
Learning to conquer borderline personality disorder (BPD) involves many treatment plans. Some of the techniques will focus on the fear of abandonment.
Learning to conquer borderline personality disorder (BPD) involves many therapy plans. Some of the techniques we will use will work for some of you but not others. That is because everyone is different and has had different experiences in their lifetime.
Strategies to conquer BPD
Our goal is to help you meet your diverse needs while processing your memories.
Worksheet - Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Activity - Carry or wear an object that reminds you of the person you lost. For example, you may wear a piece of jewelry in the same way that you loved one did. Note what it means to you. Write down what you discover.
Design a memory book - find photos of the loved one that documents his or her life. Arrange the photos in an order to where it narrates a story. Add some elements such as achievements, awards, newspaper clippings, or something that remind you of some significant event. Go through the photos and elements to see if you can find some positive experiences. Write down those experiences to keep as reminders.
If you lost someone to death - get copies of the memorial. Find some special meaning. Look for spoken words or something read at the funeral. Ask for copies of the words. Think happy thoughts - for example, "I feel happy because they were remembered and honored"
Write a journal - write out your thoughts and feelings. Write your feelings and thoughts out a few times each week. Do not censor what you write. Instead let your feelings and thoughts flow. Later, go back over what you wrote to notice any changes or growth. Take notes on what you observe.
Write to a person who has passed on, or to someone who abandoned you. Write down your feelings and thoughts that you were not able to express when the person was in your life or when the person was alive. Eventually, the urge to say something that wasn't said before will vanish. The more you write the easier it will become to release your emotions and connect with the one that abandon you via death or simply abandoned.
During dinner, light some candles. Consider lighting a taper for your loved one. Take a few minutes to remember the person to keep them close to you.
Create an area in your home full of memories. In some area of your home set up a table in memory of your loved one. You can add photographs of the person. You can find something else to remind you of the person. You can arrange a variety of candles on the time to represent your loved one or if there was more than one loss arrange each candle to represent each person's life.
Take some alone time. Find some time to be alone to process what goes on inside. Absorb your thoughts, feelings and memories as well as your dreams and hopes. Allow the thoughts and feelings to process internally to grow.
Do something that you know the one you lost would enjoy. Remember your loved one in a special way. For example, you might prepare a special dish that your loved one enjoyed. The satisfying experience and meaning does not have to end with the thought of losing your loved one.
Probe into your soul through meditation or prayer, or spend a little time by yourself in some natural area. You may find comfort doing this activity with friends or on your own. Some people believe that the people living or dead exist in a spiritual realm, which defies total understanding.
Make some changes - change some things around your home when you feel OK. You might rearrange a room in your home or some furnishing. You will not be removing all memories but some aspects of your belongings, to make your home not appear like a shrine, which leads to unhealthy grieving.
Talk to the one that you feel abandoned you or died. When you feel the need to make an important decision or when you are driving down the road, talk to the one who made you grieve. Use self-talk to discuss with your loved one what you couldn't say when that person was alive or in your life... once the time is right, the need to express yourself to your loved one will vanish.
Labor of love - take time to design or create something special for the one that you feel abandoned you either through death or abandonment. Create a quilt or something that will remind you of that person. The labor of love act will help you to appreciate your lost one.
Go online or find books that narrate stories about people who have gone through similar problems to you. Often it helps others to see what other people have gone through. Take time to note how the person(s) dealt with their problems.
When you notice some changes and growth, reward yourself, e.g. go out to dinner. Watch your favorite movie and eat some popcorn. Take a soothing bath, etc. and soak it up.
Finally, write down the lessons that you have learned from your worksheet. Since the grieving period is a learning process, take time to write down what you learned. State what you have learned and review it routinely.
We have walked you through an extensive Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) worksheet in an effort to help you overcome your fear of abandonment or accept your grief. Keep performing each step until you master your fears and grief.