Exploring the Processes in CBT
During this article, certain cognitive-behavioral techniques will be utilized to help you solve your social phobia. We will guide you through each process as it emerges.
Set yourself the goal to become aware or conscious of your reactions and thoughts when you feel phobic. Your goal is to pinpoint the thoughts that make you feel anxious.
Take notes for the next two weeks. Jot down on paper the thoughts that emerge when you feel anxious. Watch for keywords or terms that help you to become aware of your self-defeating thoughts. After your notes are written, study what you have written. Examine the main keywords and terms that link to your self-defeating thinking.
Next, examine those thoughts, looking for any miscalculations. Consider this: are your thoughts causing you to strive to be perfect? Are your thoughts comparative; for example, do you hear yourself saying, and “So-and-so is better than me?” Do you leave any room in your thinking to consider other possibilities? Is your thinking over-generalizing?
When someone over generalizes they are stating that "everyone" is included. When you make statements such as “People are mean”, you are telling yourself that the entire world is mean. This is simply not true, so you are lying to yourself. Instead of saying people are mean, state “some of the people I have known were mean to me”. That should help you get your thinking in perspective and show you that the ground on which you have built your social phobia are shaky, not based in fact.
Back to goal-orientation
Now you will set new goals. Make it a goal to reconstruct your thinking to develop new behavior patterns. Instead of feeling anxious when you meet others start projecting thoughts in your head. Tell yourself, “I am excited to meet someone new”. This could be a rewarding experience and may turn out to be the best relationship you ever had.
Spend the next week or two telling yourself that everyone is different. “Just because someone from my past was mean to me doesn’t mean that the next person I meet will judge me or treat me mean.” Leave room for others to get to know you.
Smart Goals
Your task is to create some smart goals. Behind goals are plans, for which you will need to clarify your goals, take action and identify the procedures you will use to achieve your goals.
Every goal you set should start with “I will…” If you want to achieve your goals, make it a point to take action to succeed. Keep your success in view, as you follow through with your plans.
Set a realistic timeline for yourself to accomplish your goals. Use affirmative enforcers such as “I can” to ensure that you meet your goals. Track your plans and measure them to ensure that you stay on track. Sometimes when people make plans to accomplish something they have to revise them later to ensure they can make the goal. That is fine and is, in fact, sensible, but don’t give up on your goals, even if you have to modify them. Monitor your progress toward your goals.
Break down your problems into workable solutions
Next, your task is to break down your problems into workable solutions. In the next worksheet, take notes of your advantages and disadvantages. Assess each problem closely. Create a new list during the process. Take one problem at a time, evaluate it closely, and weigh up your advantages and disadvantages. What can you do to change that problem? Do you have alternatives when a problem exists that you have no control over? Practice this step for two weeks.
Plans in action
After you set your goals, you should have plans in action. Your plans should work in harmony with your goals. That is, if you plan to conquer your social phobia your plan should be to learn about the condition and find solutions that work for you to help you overcome your condition. Again, plans sometimes have to be modified to meet your goals. Create a new set of plans and call it your “backup plan”. Follow the same planning steps as you did with your first set of plans, only this time you will take some action to make it happen.
We ask you to create some backup plans to help you achieve your goal. For example, if you planned to defeat self-destructive thoughts by using positive enforcers such as telling yourself that you are a good person and if that plan doesn’t work for you, create a backup plan that will work. Keep searching through your options to find the best possible solution that works for you.
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