I can understand your problem. There are times when life can be too rude to us and leave us totally shattered. But I am sanguine that you have a true spirit and a pure soul. Even if you can't hit on things directly, there's still an important thing that you can do. And that is... Please be positive, well-determined and realise your worth. You have been blessed with immense capabilities so that you can turn the tide.
Just remember one thing dear, if life shows you a hundred reasons to cry, then fight back with all might and show life that you have a million reasons to Smile.
With earnest prayers for your wellbeing...