Introduction to Technique Confirming Interpersonal Hunches about others
Intention – to understand relationships and feelings about others
Description – what you think someone thinks about you, and what you think about that person, are powerful determinants of how you will relate to and interact with each other. Some of the following relationship skills may help:
Use the steps below to help you build healthier interpersonal relationships.
- If both of you disagree about how you perceive each other, reserve judgment and make more observations of each other’s behavior.
- If you feel misunderstood, try to change the other person’s experience with you. Let them see another side of you.
- Try to change your behavior.
- Try to change the other person’s behavior or help him or her make the desired changes.
- Try to change your views of the other person.
- Become more aware of your needs and wants.
- Start to crusade to be better understood by others.
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Technique Clarification and Reflection
Counseling Intention – to understand someone else’s feelings through clarification and reflection.
Description – to clarify and reflect back to another person, remember the following acronyms:
FAT – Feelings, Actions, Thoughts
CPR – Clarify, Paraphrase and Reflect
Technique – Active Listening
Counseling intention – to communicate needs more assertively and less aggressively.
Description – The intention of this technique is to help the patient identify behaviors while using the FAT and CPR steps.
Technique – Supporting
Counseling Intentions – To help others feel better about themselves and to alleviate unnecessary stress
Description – Supporting is a communication skill to help people feel better about themselves by soothing and reducing tension
Practice
1. Actively listen to the message the person is sending (i.e. listen for the feelings under the words)
2. Try to empathize with the person’s feelings (i.e. try to walk in their shoes)
3. Paraphrase a reply that is in harmony with the other person’s feelings.
4. Support the other person by indicating your willingness to be of help if possible.
Example
“I’ve been on five interviews and I am yet to find a job.”
“I can understand your disappointment; you have really worked hard.” “Let’s practice an interview session and I’ll record it. Then, we can play it back and see how you look in an interview situation.”
Technique: Describing Feelings and Empathisizing
Counseling Intentions – to communicate your needs and wants effectively to others
Description – Describing your feelings is putting your emotional state into words so that others can understand your perspective.
Challenging Your Discoveries
Actively participate in the next worksheet by adhering to the steps below: write out what you identify and move to discover by challenging your discoveries what you felt, thought and how you behaved: examine your feelings, actions and thoughts more carefully. Move to change those feelings and thoughts.
1. Get in touch with the feelings you are currently experiencing. Identify them specifically ---angry, embarrassed, helpless, tired, lonely.
2. Acknowledge those feelings.
3. Make sure the statement you make to someone else contains the emotion you feel.
4. Share the feeling and your behavioral reaction.
Example
“I felt rejected and alone when you broke your date with me.”
Practice
Empathizing is being able to identify another’s feelings and responding to it as if it was your own.
1. Listen actively to what the person is saying (i.e. understand the feelings behind the words).
2. Try to recall or imagine what you would feel like under those same conditions or circumstances.
3. Respond with the appropriate feelings to share your own sensitivity to another person’s circumstances.
Example:
“I feel so stupid in Herr Bradshaw’s class; everyone is passing his German vocabulary test but me.”
“Yeah, I can understand, it’s a very helpless feeling. Maybe we can quiz each other for the next test?”
Summary
In the previous article, we learned some invaluable ways to build communication skills by listening to others actively. We hope that you followed the worksheets to improve your skills. Now join us in an article to build more skills by learning why it is important to celebrate your mistakes and be a fool sometimes.
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