Monthly Archives: September 2013

Battle against the Agonies of Life: Story of a Survivor

Impossible, unable

This blog post is dedicated to all the aching hearts and grief-stricken minds who are struggling in the odds and evens of life. Many a times you must have got a feeling to “quit”. This quitting could be due to manifold reasons such as loss of a loved one, shattering life events, physical loss, and terminal illness and so on. The permutations and combinations in which life manifests before us sometimes leave us helpless and hopeless.

Many of you may stop the battle against life and some of you would stand up again and keep walking till you achieve your cherished goal. Amid all these, the worst victims are the ones who fall a prey to the vicissitudes of life and stop trying to make things better. It is never too late to change “impossible” into “possible” and “unable” into “able”!

Keeping this in mind, today I would like to share a true story of a youngster. This incident took place when I was in my Clinical Internship. This story reflects of how rude life can be, how devastating some situations can turn to be and how one can move out of it and live life meaningfully and fruitfully.

It was a bright Monday morning. It was full of sunshine, full of madding crowd, and full of city hustle and bustle. Like every weekday V.A (Name abbreviated) got ready for his Engineering classes. V.A was the most talented, energetic, outgoing, helping and in short an apple of the eye of his parents, teachers, peers and everybody who knew him. Life for him was a continuous celebration. No matter how painful or worse a situation was V.A used to confront it and managed it with all his might. On this fateful day, V.A had to catch a bus early as he had his extra classes. To his ill-luck a speeding bus runs over him just as he stepped out of his own college bus. The speeding bus flung him on the road with massive backbone injuries, major fractures, cuts and bruises. The road was full of blood and dread. All the people who saw V.A thought that after such a serious accident he would succumb to his injuries. But, to everyone’s surprise V.A was alive. He was in a coma for a few months and had lost all physical activities related to his lower body. Due to the severe backbone injury, V.A’s lower half of the body was completely paralyzed. A youngster who was full of life was lying lifeless on his hospital bed. When I saw him in such a devastated state I thought that this boy would go into deep depression for all that he lost.

However, this person was different and so were his fighting-back abilities. Even with a paralyzed lower body, V.A used to crack jokes, make funny faces-comments. Within a few days he became the Hero of our hospital. As a psychologist I thought maybe V.A was shrouding his painful feelings from everyone and was simply laughing out loud. In order to test this we used several psychological / formal / informal tests. Initially, yes, V.A was deeply shattered. In one of his therapy log books he wrote “Out of all the people in this world, why me???” “There are many people who do wrong and hurt others. I have never done so in my life, but still then why me???” Tears came into my eyes when I read these lines. The feeble side of my emotions also thought in the same way. However, V.A changed my entire outlook towards life.

After a couple of months of therapy, counseling, and other interventions V.A’s life jumped back to life again. The paralysis he suffered from was going to be a life long disability. But, V.A chose not to get still and stagnated due to it.  While he was just to be discharged from the hospital, he said that he may not get a pretty girlfriend, people may start avoiding him or make fun of him, the society may despise him, and even the daily activities will be difficult for him. But, he was thankful that he was still alive. Maybe his limbs weren’t useful anymore, but he said that his mind and spirit was with him. He would utilize these strengths to live his life fruitfully again. Today V.A is a social worker cum Professional in a Multinational Company.

This ignited a positive spark within me. The way V.A handled his life, his loss and his determination power is an example for one and all. I want to tell everyone reading this post of mine…life was never so easy and will never be in future too. It is not a bed of roses. Each one of us has our own share of ups and downs. However, life does not end here. To fall down is not failure. Failure is in falling down and never getting up again. You may confront manifold atrocities in your life. The story of V.A teaches us that this body and situations around us are mere slaves of our mind and our outlook. If you look at your loses you will never be able to look forward and fill up your loses with new achievements. But, if you learn from your past, make peace with whatever happened and get determined to make your life worthwhile…nothing and nobody can pull you back.

The body will perish one day, but what will remain is the spirit with which you lived your life, the example that you left for others to get inspired and the faces that you made to shine with smiles. You have huge possibilities and potentialities within and around you. All the difference lies in your ability to recognize them, nourish them and utilize them to the best of your abilities. Life will show you a hundred reasons to cry, but you will have to fight back and show life that you have a million reasons to smile.

As I was looking into some of my clients’ therapy logbooks, I found out a life-changing and enlightening poem written by V.A during his hospital stay. I wanted to share with you so that you also get those positive energies, motivation and vitality to live your life to its fullest no matter what. Here it is:

Live in Full – Ecstasy……..Life

Life is a mixture of happiness and grief;

And that’s the best way to describe it in brief.

The sun, the moon, the stars, all watches your deed;

It’s upon you, whether or not, to pay heed.

Difficulties will come to make you halt;

But, for the sake of God don’t make this fault.

Be stubborn enough to go ahead and fight;

Downsize the problems, with all your might.

You make hay, when the sun shines;

And sit under it to write down some lines.

The lines showing your experience and thought;

And those big and small wars, alone you fought.

You never think what’s there for you in store;

Beware, man, it may be excitement or a big bore.

Converting boredom to joy, tough task dear;

But with the fighting spirit, there’s nothing to fear.

Bad times come and go, but they never stay;

Don’t be disgusted, keep anger at bay.

Happiness, to surround you, surely’ll take a while;

To prepare, check, retaliate and again sublime…

To everyone who just read this post: Hold on for a minute, close your eyes, take a deep breathe and make a promise that you will not let any negativity in your life to overpower you. You will live life productively and make other’s life worth living too. No matter when and what… You are the best person who can do the best justice to your life through your smile, determination, positivity, dedication, hard work, patience and perseverance.

 Best Wishes,


Anger Management: Different kinds of Anger


“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

– Aristotle

Have you ever experienced when you got literally cranky due to anger? Have you ever wanted to throw things or bang the door when you are angry? Do you shout or hurt yourself when anger outrages you? Well, these are some of the common signs of anger that we all face in our day-to-day lives. Each and every creature has an angry side that manifests when it is provoked. However, there is something that makes you different from the outraged animals. That is, logical reasoning power. As the above quote by Aristotle says – Anyone can become angry…yes folks! Anger is a basic emotion. So it is quite obvious for anyone to become angry for some reason or the other. However, anger is not always good for health and situations. I always say that “Anger and Danger go hand in hand”. Anger will reap beneficial results only when it is logically used within safe limits. Otherwise it spreads like a wild fire destroying anything and everything that comes in its way.

Do you know what causes anger or aggression within you? There are numerous theories given by psychologists, biologists, philosophers, etc on why we get angry. According to psychologists, anger is a basic emotion that is provoked due to your faulty coping skills, as defense mechanisms during anxiety or stress, in sensitive and anxiety-provoking situations and so on. Biologists say that anger is caused due to adrenaline hormone surge. Research has also shown that anger is also typical to a race, climatic condition and mind-set. In a nutshell, anger has many raison d’être to get provoked and expressed.

Sometimes anger is used for constructive purposes and sometimes anger tends to take a toll of life. Parents get angry to keep their children in control. This is an example of constructive anger. However, if you would end up in a war with your neighbor or classmate and badly hurt yourselves…this kind of anger is fatal. So friends let’s take a quick tour on what kind of anger you face in your day-to-day life or specific situations:

  1. Do you get easily angry on anyone or anything that triggered or caused your anger?
  2. Do you tend to shroud your feelings of anger with sarcasm or silence and do not want to confront the anger-causing agent?
  3. Rather than expressing your anger in a behavioural way, do you shout out loud or despise people or situations that make you angry?
  4. Do you get angry for constructive purposes in order to bring a positive change in something?
  5. Do you tend to punish yourself when you get angry? As in self-hurt?
  6. Is your anger like a bubble? Does it come out of the blue, gets expressed and then you become calm again? Is it so quick that sometimes it’s hard to notice?
  7. Are you just angry 24/7….at anything and everything?
  8. Is your anger directed towards making people feel low about them?
  9. Do you get angry when you can’t handle the stress, pressure, tensions around you?
  10. Is your anger a spontaneous reaction to the anger-causing event/person?
  11. Are you angry out of jealousy and hatred?
  12. Do you get deliberately angry to gain power over someone or some situation?

Hey friends, you just read about different kinds of anger. Yes, the word may be of only 5 alphabets, but it is of 12 different kinds! Now let me tell you the answers to your responses. The answers are in accordance to the numbers : 1) Behavioural anger 2) Passive anger 3) Verbal anger 4) Constructive anger 5) Self-inflicted 6) Volatile anger 7) Chronic anger 8) Judgmental anger 9) Overwhelmed anger 10) Retaliatory anger 11) Paranoid anger ; and 12) Deliberate anger.

Anger, in whatever form it may be is a negative emotion and targeted behaviour. If it is used wisely for beneficial purposes it reaps positive results. But, if anger is negatively directed then it leads to guilt, depression, harm to self and others, mental imbalance, psycho-physiological problems and many disastrous personal-social-economic hazards. Therefore, instead of becoming angry and wasting your precious energy, try to utilize that energy into a positive form that would lead to overall well-being and affirmative fruition. So recharge yourself for my upcoming post on how you can control your anger problems and give your emotions a healthy gateway of meaningful and fruitful expression. 🙂

A minute wasted in anger may cause a lifetime of problems. In the words of William Arthur Ward:

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses.”

Best Wishes,


The Psychophysical Route to Conception, Pregnancy and Childbirth


Helped are those who create anything at all, for they shall relive the thrill of their own conception and realize a partnership in the creation of the Universe that keeps them responsible and cheerful.

– Alice Walker 

The essence of the world, the life force within you-me-everyone around us is “conception”. Without it life would be lifeless and impossible. Do you know that among all organisms, human conception is very rare? Some can conceive too easily, while others have to struggle a lot in order to be showered by the eternal “baby-dust”. Moreover, human beings can reproduce only once a year with babies ranging from single-born, twins to quadruplets. Whereas, in case of animals and other living beings conceiving and birth is a different process and perspective. That is why human conception is so unique, rare and spectacular. Isn’t it a wonderful thing? With it comes a spark of happiness as well as new responsibilities and commitment. When you procreate and bring your baby into this world, you create a replica of your own existence as a whole.

Conceiving is like an easy process for some couples, but for some it is a long phase of efforts and struggle. This post is dedicated for all parents-to-be, for the once who are going to start planning for a baby and for the ones who want to know more about conception, pregnancy and childbirth.


In the generic sense of the term, conception means fertilization of the male and female gametes and implantation of the fertilized egg in the uterus or womb. The fertilized egg has now nine months to develop and grow into a baby. When the term and process looks so short and simple, what makes it so difficult to achieve in case of some couples? Even if some couples manage to get through the threshold of conception, why cannot they reproduce full-term babies? What is it that creates a difference or bifurcation between conceiving, getting pregnant and entering into parenthood? Well, these are many kinds of questions that hit our mind. Even if they are various steps to a common end, that is, giving birth to a baby…there is a thin line that separates all these aspects.

Following are some of the psychophysical techniques that would help you to increase the odds of conceiving:

  • Even before you plan for a baby talk to your partner about the kind of baby you both want, personality traits and so on.
  • It is wise to seek a “pre-conception counseling” before starting to plan for the little one’s advent.
  • Check your TSH levels (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone Levels), blood sugar, hormone levels, increase your knowledge about ovulation, make an ovulation calendar, and get yourself registered in a website for more information and support system. Talk to your doctor about all these aspect in the “pre-conception counseling”.
  • It is said that eating of Folic acid tablets 3 months prior to planning of a baby helps increase odds of conception, keeps the child healthy and away from diseases like cleft palate, nutritional deficiencies and so on. So during the pre-conception counseling, this is also an important point to discuss with your doctor or OBGYN.
  • Be physically and mentally prepared for parenthood. Plan your expenses; manage your finances and savings.
  • Eat healthy meals, exercise regularly but only mild workouts, meditation and breating exercises are also helpful.
  • Maintain a healthy lifestyle, cut out your alcohol intake, caffeinated drinks, smoking and other dangerous habits.
  • Keep a daily journal, encircle yourself with good vibes, try to remain stress-free as much as possible and try to remain calm, happy and composed. Moods, emotions, stress levels also play a vital role in conception.
  • Certain sexual positions aid deep penetration of the male sex organ into the female counterpart. These positions are basically the missionary position (man on the top) and side ways position (lying to your sides). Such positions make the conception process easier by helping the sperms to be ejaculated deep into the uterus or the egg that is ready to be fertilized.
  • Men need to avoid wearing tight boxers and women need to avoid too tight clothing, particularly in the abdominal area. Tight clothes thrust a negative impact on fertility.
  • If your age is under 30 and you have tried for a year, it is high time to consult a doctor if you haven’t conceived yet. Similarly it’s the case for one who is above 30 years and has tried conceiving for more than 6 months. As we age, our fertility declines.
  • Self-affirmations about conceiving, accupressure, accupuncture, reiki, etc are also some of the effective ways of increasing odds of conceiving.
  • Patience, perseverance, knowledge, expert advice and determination are the greatest pillars of strength in the road to conception.
  • Finally, do not stress yourself out by the word “baby” always at the back of your mind. Start correct, eat right, think great and do fab. When all the aspects are brought to an optimum level…enjoy your love-making…your baby will arrive when the time is ripe.

Pregnancy and Childbirth:

This is particularly the golden period every couple thrives or pines for. Almost everyone planning for a baby jumps out of thrill and joy when he/she gets the slightest clue of his partner’s pregnancy and upcoming parenthood. Nesting is something that is very primitive to organisms on this planet and human beings are no exception to it.

Let me tell you about the important do’s and don’ts during pregnancy and childbirth:

  • Once you found out that you/your partner is pregnant, schedule a doctor’s appointment immediately. This is the first and foremost thing to be done.
  • Eat the right amount of food and the right quality of food during pregnancy.
  • Strictly avoid smoking (active and passive), alcohol, drugs and other unhealthy habits. These drugs and substances also lead to many complications for the mother and child.
  • Among them death, premature delivery, abortion, birth defects, brain and heart damage are the most lethal forms of problems.
  • Read good books, talk to your loved ones, join support groups, write journals, pursue creative hobbies, listen to music, talk to the little one growing inside. All these would add upto overall feeling of wellbeing for you and the life growing within you.
  • Do not wear too tight clothes, do not self-medicate and do not go into unhygenic conditions.
  • Prior to your delivery talk to your doctor whether you want to opt for a normal delivery or a c-section.
  • With a little bit of effort, carefulness and loads of happiness the little one you would bring into this world will be your best creation.
  • For some the route to conception is very easy, while for others it is a bumpy ride. In any case, keep trying, keep the spark of your love and affection, keep yourself well-aware of the medical-biological-physical-psychological aspects and never lose hope.
  • With positive thinking, determination and strength the road to conception can surely at the milestone of holding and cuddling your baby in your arms.

Best Wishes,


Dealing with Anxiety: Some Handy Techniques

how to deal with anxiety

Lucky is a man who leads an anxiety – free life. I always wonder if life can ever be sans anxiety or not. Juggling between life’s curve balls, fulfilling dreams, acquiring accomplishments, running ahead in cut-throat competitions, huh…I mean the list of anxiety-provoking situations around us is never-ending.

When you have to go through so many dimensions in your life, anxiety is bound to peek in by means of varied permutations and combination. When I used to face examination-anxiety, I used to think that “I wish there would be one magic anti-anxiety pill I would eat and sleep at night. In the morning when I would get up all my anxiety would get vanished”. How silly I was, isn’t it friends? I did not know that life is not like an “Alice in the Wonderland” dream. Life is a journey filled with practical, bitter and better experiences.

My life changed when gradually I learned about anxiety-handling skills. Now I know when an anxiety provokes me, I know how to kick it out and handle it effectively. I would like to share some handy techniques with you, that would help you to prevent and manage anxiety; common day-to-day anxiety and in the prevention of clinical anxiety disorders:

  • If you have already read my first blog post on anxiety, this point is like a recapitulation for you. Do not pay heed to the automated illusion negative thoughts that your mind creates about the future.
  • Work on the present and plan for the future. Getting tensed and worried about the future will only land you in an array of anxiety, stress and turmoil.
  • Eat well, sleep well, socialize with good people, pamper yourself, pursue hobbies or help the needy, read good books, listen to some music, exercise-walk daily, do regular breathing exercises. All these would add up to fostering self-confidence within yourself, enhance physical and mental healthy, develop well-defined coping mechanisms, and will ultimately help you to either stay out of or efficiently deal anxiety-provoking situations.
  • “An empty mind is a devil’s workshop”…do not let any kind of empty time gobble up your mind’s productivity.
  • Brooding over the past, procrastination, etc are some of the important reasons that push you into unnecessary anxiety situations. For example, you have an exam in 15 days. If you won’t study well ahead of the exams you will obviously feel anxious when the exams are near. But if you devote ample time to study regularly, prepare notes, take help to clarify doubts etc then undoubtedly you will do well in your exams without panic and feeling anxious. Therefore, sometimes anxiety is created unnecessarily. This is something that is completely in your hands and under your control.
  • If you are compelled to do something under the influence of anxiety, it is always wise not to pay heed to that compulsive thought and engage your mind and behaviour in some other adaptive measures/work.
  • Recognize yourself, your strengths and weak points.
  • Understand the nature of the situation and build an insight on what actually provokes anxiety within you. Once you do this it will be easier to handle/prevent the provoking aspects.
  • I always emphasize on building up of support systems in your life. Whenever you feel worried and tensed talk to a supportive friend or family member of yours.
  • If at any point of time you feel that you are getting entangled in the symptoms of anxiety it is high time to consult a counselor or psychologist for professional help.
  • The good news is that Anxiety disorders fall under the category of Psycho-neurotic ailments. Under this category, people can do well in their lives and get rid of the symptoms with guided help, self-help and in a short duration of time. They are easy to prevent, manage and cure.

So friends, these were some of the important ways in which you can prevent and manage anxiety in your daily lives. Most of the pointers may be already known to you. However the difference lies in what you already know and what you do. Because:

“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.” – Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Best Wishes,


Add Beauty and Bounty to Your Life with “A to Z”

Add beauty in your life

A – Aim to be the best creation in this universe; aiming high with realistic goals will keep you away from the worse.

B – Be positive and believe in the best; believe in the fact that you are indeed the best.

C – Character is the best jewel that you possess, confidence and goodwill are the finest pearls to profess.

D – Determination and dedication never go in vain, discipline with perseverance can relieve you from pain.

E – Exercise and empathy make you very healthy, enemies and hatred make your life filthy.

F – Faith is the word that steers you forward over obstacles, failures and afflictions can sometimes be boons and miracles.

G – Get over your past, as it is already gone. Give way to your future even before it’s born.

H – Honesty is considered the best policy of all. Hold on to your values and never let them fall.

I – Insight and wisdom make your life meaningful. Increase your goodness to make your life beautiful.

J – Joys and laughter diminish all your stress. Just do your best and smile anyways.

K – Keep your thoughts noble and pure, keeping your promises will help you assure.

L – Love yourself and respect your fellow-beings. Life is too petite to look only at the shortcomings.

M – Make your life a wonderful celebration. Make it illumined with kindness and inspiration.

N – Never undermine yourself in problems and pains. Never lose your entity in life’s sun and rains.

O – Optimism and faith will never bring you disgrace. Obedience and humbleness will open all success-gates.

P – Pamper yourself with every sunrise and sunset. Praise others with no inhibition or regret.

Q – Quest for your survival should never suffice, question yourself often and make yourself wise.

R – Raise your hand to help the ones in need, rise above jealousy, falsehood and greed.

S – Shine and smile in every way you can, share care and happiness in any way you can.

T – Trustworthiness and genuineness will make you charming ‘n’ lovely. Talent along with virtuousness will never let you feel lowly.

U – Unending efforts and patience are the grand roads to victory, undying faith on yourself will never land you in misery.

V – Vent you feelings to stay emotionally healthy, vision yourself and self-affirm that you are unique and worthy.

W – Wherever you go, spread your luminance. Whatever you do, add your significance.

X – X-factor is something that you can also harness, X-factor adds a lot of vitality and also finesse.

Y – Your life is worth-living; never let it go waste. Always plan ahead and in making decisions don’t haste.

Z – Zone-out all negatives and make your life amazing. Zing in and dance to its rhythm by being joyful ‘n’ glazing.

Best Wishes,

Life is just for once… Fill it with LIFE


“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Hi all! The title of this blog post seems ridiculous, isn’t it? “Life”; fill it with “life”….what do these two words imply to? Don’t they look and sound similar? Hmmm yes! The look and the spelling are the same but their meanings and feel-factor are different. If I would ask you how’s your life, what does life means to you, do you know why you were born??? I think I will get mixed reactions. Some will say life is amazing, life is in a happy mode now, and life is so beautiful and bright. While some of you may say that life sucks, life is miserable and stressful, life is boring and gruesome. In any case both the reactions are normal. After all we are human beings and feelings-emotions are pretty normal. It’s the way we perceive and reflect upon things, persons and situations. Now the next question: Who are you? I know almost everyone of you can answer this and also coax me for asking such a silly question. Your answers will be kind of like this: “My name is …, I am …..Years old, I read or work in ….school/office, etc. Many of you will also tell about your hobbies, likes, dislikes, family, friends and so on.

Oh, but do you know the above answers are right or wrong? Hold on; hold on….I won’t say now. You will yourself find the correct answers as you read this blog post. My answers were also same as yours. However, they gradually changed. This change was brought about by my experiences in life, learning, introspection – renovations, and with the help of the art of living and personality development classes I used to attend.

Life for each one of us is like a topsy-turvy land. Some of you are very good at balancing different aspects of life, while some of you might be struggling to transform your life into a perfect picture. When I was a child I thought life was like a fairy tale, like a funny cartoon show…no violence, no hardships, and no pains. But, as I grew up I started to see the ugly side of life too. Similarly your life would also have been like that. Each and everyday would be having its own stressors and pressures. The major difference is how you juggle between life’s curve balls – how many you catch and how many you miss. Right from the day we are born, the world around us starts building expectations related to us. My mom wanted me to become a Doctor, my father wanted me to go for Aeronautics. When I extended myself into a social circle my teachers wanted me to be numero uno in my studies, my friends wanted me to be their best pal, my enemies wished the worse for me…..the list of expectations is endless. This is not the end; I also faced many ups and downs in life. Got caught in dirty fights, became a victim of jealousy and malice intentions, I faced failures, I lost loved ones…..the way in which life manifested before me is so multi-faceted.

In the same way you must be going through the journey of life in varied colours too. You may have seen success and failures, you must have cherished moments of love and faced hatred, you must have felt elated by happiness and again your eyes must have became wet with tears too! As we are born into this world we are showered with moments imbibed with all the hues. Bright colours of happiness, love, success, peace, goodwill and positivity sometimes embrace us. And sometimes we are bombarded with a lot of struggles and pains. Agonies like violence, depression, stress, abuse, fights, despise, etc are some of the aspects that literally pinch our hearts and churn our souls.

In this muddle we forget one basic question and that is “who we are”? When you have to go through a lot in your life, at times you tend to forget yourself, your worth and purpose in life. You have to become a good daughter for your parents, a good student for your teachers, a good pal for your peers, a good mom for your kids, a responsible citizen for your society….but, hey “where are you”? Where is the one who was born on a D-Day? Other than the definition of being a child, student, employee, friend, spouse, parent…can you define yourself?

If you have already found the definition of “You” and “Your Purpose” in your life, if you have found everything needed to survive fruitfully and meaningfully. However, if you are one among those who is shattered with the vicious pangs of life, who is so much jolted down by negativities, it is high time to re-work your life again. If you are thinking that your life is a waste due to the harm and hatred, abuse and agonies, pain and disgrace…life is still worth living dear friend.

It’s the rightest time to keep all the negatives aside, it is the rightest time to recognize yourself and your worth, and it is the rightest time to live life. Life is just for once. No one knows what were you before and what you will be after it. What is in your hand today is this life, your life…Keep all the bitter feelings aside and give your life another chance. Many people give up in life thinking that it’s a waste. And they give up without realizing that they are just about to reach their cherished destination of health and happiness. Try to fill your life with LIFE i.e Love, Inspiration, Faith and Encouragement. Because:

The bitter words of your enemies will fade away,

But, the whisper of your conscience will remain.

The physical pains and mental anguish will fade away,

But, the success stories of your strength and hope will remain.

Your mortal belongings, experiences and possessions will fade away;

But, the sweet fragrance of “You” will remain…

Best Wishes,


Anxiety: Reality or Illusion


The heart pounding with fear, lungs gasping for air, hands trembling with apprehension, trepidation of negative thoughts hitting the mind……have you ever experienced all these? Many times in our lives we come across these feelings. While attending an interview, proposing to someone, speaking in public, before an examination, in a presentation or meeting, in social settings, there are various situations where you must have felt like this. Technically speaking, all these experiences or the feeling of fear / apprehension is known as “Anxiety”. The roots and expression of anxiety can be in manifold ways. It can either torment you mentally or make you uncomfortable physically. Keeping all the symptoms apart, anxiety is becoming very common these days. Even a small child is also not spared by it!

Why does anxiety occur is the main question that arises here. According to Psychologists and Behavioural Scientists, anxiety may be caused either due to neuro-chemical disturbances in the brain, faulty coping styles, genetic transmission, medical reasons, drug interactions/reactions or situational variants. However, sometimes anxiety is just an outcome of an illusion thought. Many a times you must have experienced anxiety out of the blue. More than half of the world population feels anxious or worry due to illusion thoughts created in one’s mind. Let me explain it by an example: You have an examination at 10:00 AM in the morning. Due to it you may spend sleepless night by thinking whether you will be able to crack the exam or not. You won’t feel like eating your breakfast, even if your college is just half an hour drive, you will want to leave for college at 8:00 AM sharp. You will get anxious by thinking what if you miss the college bus, what if there is a traffic jam in between, what if something unexpected happens. All these thoughts enhance your physical discomfort, negative apprehensions and maladaptive behaviour. Actually folks, the reality here is two obvious things: One is the exam and the other thing is your attendance in the exam. But, in between all the thoughts/discomfort/fear that came in your mind was nothing but anxiety or anxiety-provoking thoughts. On the other way round you may easily reach at the venue on time and pass the exams with flying colours! Simple, isn’t it?

Our mind is so much tamed to think negative that sometimes we are compelled to attract unnecessary anxiety-provoking thoughts out of the blue. In sensitive situations instead of thinking about positive things and positive outcomes, our mind is dragged towards negative anxious thoughts. Therefore, sometimes anxiety is a product of illusion thinking. Whatever you think may not be true at all. Do you know what is going to happen the next moment? Lol…Even I don’t know. So when the future is unknown then why to think about it negatively? Why is it so difficult to be positive, think positive and do positive?

It is because you are tightly entrapped in the vicious circle of your past negative experiences, failures, inhibitions, fears, your prejudices and stereotypes and so on. Moreover, you may not have ample faith on yourself, your values, virtues, potentialities, strengths…so this may be also increasing your anxiety levels.

When you feel anxious just ask one thing to yourself: Is it so easy to think negative about yourself and so difficult to believe in yourself? Are you not worth? The answers to it will be negative in the beginning and to the point you believe in yourself. The moment you start having trust on yourself and your capabilities….more than half of your anxiety problems will fade away or run away. Similarly if your anxiety is due to any fear factor, you need to understand that what you fear may not be present at all! Suppose you are afraid of going in the dark due to fear of something. It could be just that, that “something” may not be present there at all. Just try and give yourself another chance buddies. I am sure when you will overcome these illusion thoughts and fight against these anxious thoughts you will laugh at yourself thinking about these silly fake thoughts which were not true at all. Getting rid of your anxieties and worries will also help you to explore many things about yourself and the world around you. It is all about a matter of leaping forward rather than stepping back.

To sum up, I would like to say that anxiety is fear/worrying or apprehension about something. That “something” may just be in our minds and may not be present in reality. Since the future is unknown to you, there is no point in thinking about it and losing productive moments. Instead of thinking and getting anxious about the future, try to shape your future by working in your present. Try to build your present in such a way that your future gets molded in a positive way automatically and does not haunt you.

The next time you feel anxious rather than thinking “what if, what if”? Try thinking “what I need or ought to do?” Because…

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ― Corrie ten Boom

Best wishes,