Hi Folks! Hope you have read my previous blog post on “Know yourself: Your Personality”. So, were you able to recognize your personality style? I guess most of you would have done it correctly. Personality is one of the striking features of human existence and life. Without it, life would be like a flightless bird…no essence or meaning in anything at all.
I have seen many parents trying hard to shape the personalities of their children in the best possible way we can. Sometimes I find this fascinating and sometimes I feel like making them understand the dynamics of personality too. Personality is not something that is solely and wholly predisposed, a varied number of factors tend to influence it. Intrauterine phase, upbringing, environment, coping skills, social circles, learning, etc. Everything around us play a vital role in shaping our personality.
Here are some of the key points to be kept in mind while working towards personality development:
1) Have a vision: How you want to be, how you want to be looked at, where you want to reach in your life. It is really important to have a vision. Only then personality development can be possible at the first place. Without it you would be like a straw in the storm, not knowing where to go.
2) Following a right ideal: Ideally each and every one of us is unique. You cannot be like me; I cannot be like you…we all are different and unique. Having the right ideal is important so that you can get a direction of how an ideal personality should be. However, simply aping or mimicking an ideal may be fatal as it may curb your own originality. Learn from others but maintain your uniqueness as well.
3) Be consistent: When you start working towards personality development try to be consistent. For eg: You cannot be like Bill Clinton one day and Steve Jobs the other. Try to have a stable personality that is predictable, well-organized and well-defined.
4) Your dressing sense, lifestyle, habits, manners and disposition also play a vital role. For appropriate dressing follow the LOC Formula. That is Location-Occasion-Company. Where you are going, what is the occasion and what kind of people would be there. So based on this your clothes should be chosen.
5) One of the fallacies done in personality development is when you try to be so stubborn in it. Things will happen in their own course and time. Do not rush on things. Take small steps forward and celebrate even the smallest accomplishments.
Many a times, we also see some people with personality disorders. These occur due to faulty coping mechanisms, faulty learning, faulty parenting, chemical disturbances, etc. Here are some of the common personality disorders:
1) Self-Defeating Personality Disorder:
Symptoms: Reject attempt by others to help, undo positive experience by feeling depressed, provoke rejection from others, avoid pleasure, deny feelings, failure to take care of tasks, avoiding relating with caring people, doing excessive sacrifice even when not requested.
2) Sadistic Personality Disorder:
Symptoms: Dominate relations with violence, humiliating others in public, taking pleasure in others’ suffering, treating others harshly, being fascinated by weapons, limiting autonomy of others.
3) Antisocial Personality Disorder:
Symptoms: History of illegal or socially disapproved behavior before the age of 15, irritability and aggressiveness, disregard for truth, harming others, addiction to drugs or alcohol, rejection of authority, harsh behavior.
Other forms of personality disorders include borderline personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and so on. If at any point of time you or anyone related to you feel that there is some maladaptive change in personality, do not suppress it or hide it. Instead try to seek professional help. With strategic interventions personality disorders can be rectified so that an individual can lead a fulfilling life.