As a child, there tends to be ‘built-in’ time for self-care. Whether it is recess at school, play dates with friends, or family movie nights, there always tends to be time set aside for fun. However, as an adult, there always seems to be something that needs to be done; picking up groceries, cooking meals, doing laundry, mowing the lawn; the list goes on and on. Setting aside time for things that bring joy to our lives can be low on the list of priorities, yet it should be just as important, if not more, than all of the other things that need to be done. In order to make a plan of self-care, there are some things to consider while
Make a List
Start by making a list of things that you not only want to do, but also things you know you will realistically be able to do. For instance, it is easy to set your sights on doing something extravagant, such as rock climbing every week, but are you truly able to do this? Do you have access to an area where you can do this, do you have the equipment necessary, and do you have the time to set aside that is needed to do this? If the answer to these things is no, it may be better to come up with some alternatives that are more easily accessible. Keep in mind that this does not mean you cannot still plan to do these types of activities, however, they may be things you do less frequently, such as once a month or once every few months, rather than weekly.
Prioritize Things You Want to do Rather Than Things You Should Do
Another point to consider is how much you truly desire to do the activities that you place on this list. For example, if you decide you will go running every day to get the benefits of the endorphins that are released when participating in this cardio exercise, however, you truly do not enjoy running and find yourself dreading the idea of doing this activity every day, maybe coming up with an alternative work out would be more realistic. This may mean coming up with an at home routine to do, joining a yoga studio, going to your local gym, etc. This does not mean that you are neglecting the things you need to do, but rather, making sure that when it comes to concentrating on your self-care that you are thinking more about your wants, rather than your needs.
How Do Finances Factor In?
Keep in mind finances when deciding what to do, as certain activities may cost money and disposable income will need to be a factor in deciding what activities to include on this list. Getting a massage, a pedicure, joining a gym, etc. can all be great ways to work on self-care, however, the prices of these activities may not be feasible to include in a regular routine. Again, this does not mean that they cannot be things you do for self-care, but that they may be things you do monthly or a few times a year, rather than weekly or daily. In going through these ideas, you may find that one of these activities is costly, but it also is a priority for you. This can help you to decide that including this activity is important, so corners may need to be cut in other areas of your budget to make room for this cost.
Deciding on a Game Plan
Think about how often you want to implement these self-care techniques. Self-care should be a regular part of routine, so you may have some self-care goals that you will aim to do daily, while others may be weekly or monthly. Penciling these tasks in, whether it be literally or more of a mental note, will help to make sure they do not get looked over. This can be done by keeping reminders in your phone, keeping track of each self-care activity in a planner, leaving yourself reminder post-it notes, etc. Consider what has helped you get into a routine before and then try to implement those techniques to get into a routine.
Finding What Areas You Need More Self Care
Consider the different areas in your life and how well they are being taken care of. Sleep, physical health, nutrition, exercise, intimacy, stress levels, cognition, mental illness, needing a mental break, companionship, mindfulness, and simply personal time are all areas to consider when deciding what areas of your life you need to concentrate on with additional self-care.
Sleep
Think about how much you are sleeping and what the quality is of your sleep. Ideally, adults should be getting between seven to nine hours of sleep each night. Consider what time you are going to bed each night and when you are waking up. Consider how well rested you feel when waking up in the morning and if you tend to go to sleep and wake up around the same time each day. If you find that this is an area of your life where you seem to be neglecting, coming up with a routine for sleep and making sure that you are trying to get the best quality of sleep may help immensely. This may mean cutting down on screen time before bed, changing your evening routine to incorporate more relaxing activities, such as taking a bath or reading a book. This also could mean changing how late you eat, if you have any alcohol before bed, getting blackout curtains, or even working with your significant other to modify their routine, if it seems to be disrupting yours.
Physical Health
Even though it may not be the number one thing you desire to do, taking care of your physical health is an important part of self-care. Going for an annual physical exam, going to the Dentist every six months, and keeping up with any specialists you may be recommended to see, such as a Gynecologist, Ophthalmologist, Dermatologist, etc. can ensure that small health issues are taken care of early on, rather than allowing them to worsen to a point of concern.
Nutrition
Nutrition can be an important part of caring for both your physical and mental health. Having a balanced diet means not just allowing yourself to eat the foods you crave, but also making sure you are eating the foods you may not care for as much, but do require in order to keep your body functioning properly. On the other hand, self-care means also sometimes allowing yourself to have the things that may not be as good for you but that you enjoy, such as popcorn at the movie theater or a cupcake from the bakery near your work. In addition to what you are eating, think about how you are eating. Do you eat so fast that you do not even truly enjoy what you are eating? Are you able to recognize when you are full or is this lost on you from how you are paying more attention to the taste of the food, rather than how your body is feeling?
Exercise
The Department of Health and Human Services recommends 150 minutes minimum of moderate intensity exercise per week. Oftentimes it can help to have a goal in mind, such as aiming to be able to run a 5K, which may help by giving you a deadline of when to reach this goal, so as to provide motivation to run regularly in order to build up stamina. This also can, in turn, lead to a healthier heart and better sleep. It may help to try to work out at the same time every day in order to become accustomed to the consistent movement. The most important part of making exercise a part of your self-care routine is finding something that you enjoy doing. If you used to enjoy dancing when you were a juvenile and now, as an adult, find yourself missing learning and performing routines, an idea could be looking into adult dance classes, or trying out workouts that are based in dance, such as Barre or Zumba.
Intimacy
Human being are proven to crave physical touch. People who do not have physical contact with other living things can become touch starved, which occurs when someone experiences little or even no touch from other living things. Touch has been found to relieve stress, calm heart rate and blood pressure, and of course, tackle loneliness. There are many ways to satisfy this need for touch; getting a massage, spending time with animals that are more prone to cuddling, getting a manicure or pedicure, visiting a hair salon, learning to dance with a partner, etc.
Stress Levels
Stress can be a huge factor in overall mental health. Self-care activities aimed to de-stress can involve anything that gives you a sense of relaxation. Things that were mentioned before that this could apply to are getting a massage, getting a manicure or pedicure, however, it could be something else that you personally feel relaxes you, such as reading a book, drawing in a sketch book, writing letters, etc. Whichever activity relaxes you, it is important to use this time to try to let go of the other things going on in your life and be fully present in the self-care events.
Cognition
Learning can help to feel a greater sense of purpose and overall like you have accomplished something. This can involve learning a new skill, such as a trade or how to play an instrument, participating in some form of brain teasers to improve concentration, or reading a book. This allows you to challenge yourself and can lead to a greater sense of self-worth. In addition, it may help you to recognize something that you are passionate about, which you had never concentrated on before.
Mental Illness
One thing to understand, first and foremost, is therapy is not just for people suffering from a mental illness. Mental illness can be a wonderful source of support for those who are needing help to deal with the symptoms related to a diagnosis, however, it can also be beneficial for people who may just need some additional support. Therapy can be a chance to work through unpleasant symptoms with an unbiased person, which can lead to greater emotional well-being and can allow people to get their thoughts out before they become too great to bare, which can then prevent burnout.
Mental Breaks
Allowing yourself the opportunity to relax and ‘zone out’ can be the chance to allow your brain to recharge. This might mean allowing yourself to watch a show, draw, take a nap, or take a break from technology altogether. When feeling like your brain has been overstimulated, it can be important to give yourself some slack and allow yourself to hit the mental reset button.
Companionship
With technology being such a large part of our surroundings in society, we oftentimes forget to prioritize meaningful interactions with others. If you find that you are a social person or that you are dealing with feeling lonely, it can help to socialize more with loved ones, in order to fill that void you may be experiencing. If time with friends and family is sparse, it can also help to reach out to different organizations available to you. This could mean volunteering for a cause that is important to you, taking a class on a topic that you are passionate about, becoming more involved in a religious community, or trying to meet new friends or potential love interests, such as through dating sites or mutual connections.
Mindfulness
In order to really deal with your emotions, it is important to first recognize what emotions you are feeling and why you may be feeling them. It could be helpful to do something that can help you to connect with your feelings, such as talking with a therapist, meditation, journaling, or listening to music. Any of these activities can help you to pause life and sit with your feelings, allowing you to really identify what emotions you are experiencing and giving yourself a safe space to start to work through them.
Personal Time
One of the biggest parts of self-care for people involves time to themselves. This means taking time away from kids, parents, spouses, and friends, in order to have time to do what you want to do without having to worry about anyone else. This time can be spent doing any of the activities discussed above. So much of our time, especially as adults, is spent doing things for with other people in mind. This can be time to really think about yourself and to forget about all other people and responsibilities for a designated period of time.
Implementing Your Plan
After you have made your list of what areas you want to work on and have come up with self-care activities that match with these areas of needs or wants, keep in mind that as time goes on you may want to change your plans. While certain self-care techniques may be incredibly important to you at one point, as time goes on that task may no longer have the same impact. When something no longer feels like self-care and starts to feel like more of a chore, you can always take a break from it and even replace it with something else.
Developing your own self-care technique can be crucial to improving mental health and living a happier lifestyle. Whether you concentrate on one of the self-care activities listed above, or come up with a schedule of your own, developing this plan can be imperative to finding the emotional balance needed in life. One of the activities discussed multiple times above, was the topic of going to therapy. This is always a great option for anyone needing an unbiased professional to talk with. Online-Therapy offers a free program that gives users access to 25 CBT-based worksheets, a personal journal, an activity plan, tests, and yoga and meditation videos. For those needing additional support, our basic program incorporates daily therapists comments Monday-Friday on worksheets, as well as the services offered through the free program. The standard plan incorporates all services offered through the basic plan, plus one session per week. The premium program offers all services included in the standard plan, plus an additional session per week. Here is link to learn more and to get started: https://www.online-therapy.com
References
Bubnis, Daniel. (2021, February 08). How to Start Exercising: A Beginner’s Guide to Working Out. Heathline. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-to-start-exercising
Lamoreux, Karen, Sharkey, Lauren. (2021, April 08). What Does It Mean To Be Touch Starved? Heathline. https://www.healthline.com/health/touch-starved
Newsome, Melba. (2020, March 20). 10 Natural Ways to Sleep Better. Heathline. https://www.healthline.com/health/natural-sleeping-remedies
Raypole, Crystal. (2020, July 13). How to Make a Self-Care Checklist That Actually Works for You. Heathline. https://www.healthline.com/health/self-care-checklist
Scott, Elizabeth. (2020, November 24). Why Self Care Can Help You Manage Stress. Very Well Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/importance-of-self-care-for-health-stress-management-3144704
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