Depression and Avoidance Behavior: How to Break the Cycle
Avoidance may ease stress for a moment, but it fuels the cycle of depression. Learn how to recognize unhealthy behaviors and take steps to overcome them with CBT-based strategies.
Understanding Depression and Avoidance
For many, it can be tempting to give up and hide away from the world. The truth is, avoidance does nothing but fuel a life that is less enjoyable, less rewarding, and more problematic.
If you know what your problems - or even your "perceived" problems - are, then it is much easier to change them. Answer these two questions related to your depression:
Do your problems fall into one specific category?
Do your problems overlap?
Chances are, you reached the same conclusion we did: problems rarely fall into just one category. Everyone faces multiple problems across different aspects of life, and these often overlap. For example, one of the common problems people with depression suffer from is not being able to sleep. Another problem is worry. These are different issues, yet one is often the follow-on from another.
By identifying your problems and seeing what leads to what in terms of your depression, you can start to do something about eliminating the chain reaction of issues that many people face. This way, you can begin to overcome depression.
For many people, depression is what happens when one of those "chain reactions" comes together and everything becomes too much. This is where Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be especially helpful. CBT teaches us to separate our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in order to rationalize what is happening and find healthier ways to cope.
Unhealthy Behaviors That Fuel Depression
Suffering from depression or any emotional disorder does not make you a bad person. But negative thoughts and emotions can drive us toward behaviors that feel like coping strategies but actually keep depression alive. While these behaviors may seem effective in the short term, they cause more damage in the long run.
Common unhealthy behaviors include:
1 |
Gambling or other reckless activities |
| 2 | Not sleeping or eating regularly |
| 3 | Having little disregard for others |
| 4 | Risk taking |
| 5 | Avoiding other people (isolation) |
| 6 | Ignoring responsibilities |
| 7 | Staying in bed |
| 8 | Not eating regularly |
| 9 | Not going outside |
| 10 | Not showering |
| 11 | Ignoring medication |
| 12 | Avoiding problems |
| 13 | Putting things off |
| 14 | Avoiding challenging environments |
| 15 | Not answering the phone, emails or reading the mail |
Different Types of Negative Behaviors
These behaviors can be divided into three main categories: avoidance behavior, mood-lowering behavior, and self-destructive behavior. Different people may lean more toward one type, depending on their circumstances.
By comparing your choice of unhealthy behaviors with these categories, you can get a clearer picture of your behavioral patterns and the problems you need to address to overcome depression.
| 1 - 4 | Self destructive |
| 5 - 11 | Mood lowering |
| 12 - 15 | Avoidance |
Looking at Avoidance
Avoidance plays a major role in depression. Those who sink into major depression are often caught in the grip of avoidance. One of the biggest signs is when people stop doing things they normally enjoy, or avoid things they usually dislike. In some cases, people may even overindulge in enjoyable activities to block out the outside world.
Suffering from depression takes time to work through, but addressing avoidance behaviors is one of the best ways to recover. Avoidance also connects strongly with conditions such as social anxiety, where people withdraw from others to escape discomfort.
| ? | Example |
| What are you avoiding? | I'm avoiding my friends after my girlfriend dumped me. I'm not talking to my parents. I'm not taking care of myself. |
| How is this avoidance making you feel? | I feel sad and depressed. I'm alone. |
| How are you avoiding things? | I'm playing computer games all day and night. I'm not eating healthy food. |
| What are the side effects? | I feel unhealthy, weak, lonely, afraid and hopeless. I have no-one to talk to. |
Your Most Significant Negative Behaviors
Just as you may have ranked your top problems before, now it is time to look at your behavioral patterns. Think about the three categories - avoidance, self-destructive, and mood-lowering - and identify the top five behaviors you notice most in yourself.
Challenging Your Unhealthy Behaviors
Avoidance and other unhealthy strategies may feel like they help, but in the long run they prolong depression. Often, the best way to move forward is to do the exact opposite of what you feel like doing.
Once you have identified the behaviors that add to your depression, it is time to challenge them. This involves looking at a specific unhealthy behavior, coming up with an alternate healthier one, and scheduling time to put it into practice.
| Unhealthy behavior: | I'm not socializing |
| Reason for my behavior: | My boyfriend just broke up with me. I don't want anyone to see that I mess up in my relationship. |
| Effects of my behavior: | I isolate and haven't seen friend or family for weeks. I'm so alone and think too much. |
| Alternate healthy behavior: | Start getting in touch with my friends and family. |
| Possible benefits of alternate healthy behavior: | My friends and family will most likely be supportive and understanding. I will be less alone and have less time to focus on feeling depressed. |
| Schedule: | At least twice a week I will see friends or family. |
Remember, it is not enough to just write down healthier behaviors - you need to take action. Focus on completing the small steps you schedule. Over time, these consistent actions will help you break free from the cycle of depression and avoidance.
If you are ready for structured guidance, our Depression Program provides worksheets, strategies, and live support grounded in CBT.