“I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
For better, for worse; in sickness and sadness; in sun and shower of life… Each and every wedded couple takes these promises in some or the other form. Promise to hold each other’s hands beyond eternity, promise to be together no matter what… Marriage is a special bond that unites two people in a strong, ever-lasting bond. But, what happens that marriages do not last for a lifetime? Why do couples stop trusting themselves and seek pleasure outside marriage? Where does the fidelity quotient fade off? Well, if you are also thinking about these questions or are going through a similar phase then this blog is meant for you.
Trust and fidelity are the pillars of an unbreakable marriage. If you and your spouse are trustworthy, then your marital relationship blooms like anything. Once trust and fidelity fits in a marital relationship, then all other forms of marital companionship like love, affection, care, protection, respect and understanding… Everything falls into the perfect picture automatically. Therefore, trust and fidelity have magical effects to make your marriage shine and smile.
However, there are a lot of instances around us in which we see married couples falling apart due to infidelity and breach of trust. This not only affects the married partners but also negatively influences their family, significant others and people related to them either directly or negatively. So, what hampers or affects fidelity in marriage? Let us look at some of the important causes:
Causes of Infidelity in Marriage
- Lack of mutual trust, mutual understanding and mutual respect
- Extramarital Affairs
- Inability to cope with mutual differences in opinion, thoughts, mind-sets and personalities
- Lack of spending quality time with each other
- Inability to perform one’s own marital roles and responsibilities
- Breaking of expectations couples have attached to one another
- Over-protective nature and over-possessive nature that leaves no space for the spouse to live life with freedom.
- Conflicts and misunderstandings
- Effects of stress, tensions and day to day hazels
- Third-person influence
Like I said earlier, infidelity and breach of trust in a marital relationship leads to unfathomable pain and disturbance in the lives of the married couple and people related to him. This also leads to many physical and psychological imbalances in the form of:
- Restlessness and physical discomfort
- Changes in diet and sleep patterns
- Lack of personal care and hygiene
- Stress and tension
- Worries, apprehension and anxiety
- Social withdrawal or isolation
- Can lead to drug or alcohol abuse
- Obsessive thinking and concerned behaviors
- Suicidal thoughts
That was just a brief overview of what infidelity can do to you, your spouse or your marriage as a whole. It affects all the dimensions of life in a negative way. Therefore, it is very important to foster fidelity in your marital relationship. Here are some of the important ways of doing so:
Ways of Fostering Fidelity in Marriage
- Mutual understanding: The more you understand your spouse; you will be able to nurture loyalty in your marriage in a better way. Majority of marriages break due to lack of understanding between couples. So, don’t let that happen in your life too. Mutual understanding is the basic and the most significant aspect of making a marriage bloom with trust and fidelity.
- Mutual Sharing: If you want to share your emotions, expectations, thoughts and viewpoints with your partner… Then please do it! Do not hide your emotions and expect your partner to understand your part of the world. Mutual sharing bridges the gap between both your hearts and minds. Moreover, it is the direct key to enkindle loyalty in your marital relationship.
- Mutual Respect: No one is perfect folks! In fact, we all strive and thrive towards perfection. Just as you have your own weaknesses and strengths, your spouse would be having the same too. Therefore, respecting each other’s differences is yet another way of working towards increasing fidelity quotient in your marriage.
- Be a friend first and then a spouse: If you are someone who likes to dominate or be bossy towards your spouse, then it may hamper your marital relationship and will push your beloved away from you. Try to be your partner’s best friend first and then the whole spirit of spouse-hood will flow in automatically. Each one of us needs someone with whom we can feel most comfortable, protected and accepted; rather than being judged and humiliated!
- Spend “quality” time together: No matter how much time you spend with your better-half, try to spend it meaningfully. In this fast-paced world we hardly find time for our spouse. Sometimes, we also take them for granted. But, this is not fair folks! The one who is married to you needs your quality time too. Even if you have 10 minutes together, spend it meaningfully with love, care, trust, enthusiasm and mutual understanding.
- Rejoice and rejuvenate: When certain time lapses in a marriage, it tends to get mundane for some couples. This is the biggest reason for infidelity in marriages. Instead of seeking that spark and pleasure outside, try to create the same magic within your marriage. Spend time together, go for a holiday together, send surprise gifts… In short, rejoice and rejuvenate your own marital relationship so that there would be no space for any other third-person’s entry.
- Do not cheat: If you are falling for someone else outside of your marriage, and if you are getting the feeling that your marriage is not working out, then it is best to share with someone you trust and take professional help of counselor/psychologist too.
Marriage is a pure bond between you and your beloved spouse. Life will always be challenging in a marital relationship. So, marriage is all about stepping on the challenges by holding each other’s hands and crossing over every difficulty with trust, hope, love and belongingness.
With this, I would like to share some wonderful and inspiring lines by Robert Sexton. Starting from being in love with your spouse to nurturing your marital life with trust, hope, positivity, loyalty and understanding… These lines will really motivate you to make your marriage an ideal and a blissful one:
“There is no moment of my life when you are not a part of me; you hold my heart; you guard my soul; you guide my dreams so tenderly. And if my will might be done, and all I long for could come true, with perfect joy I would choose to share eternity with you.” – Robert Sexton
Lots of love dust on you and your spouse!