“Two words. Three vowels. Four consonants. Seven letters. It can either cut you open to the core and leave you in ungodly pain or it can free your soul and lift a tremendous weight off you shoulders. The phrase is: It’s over.” – Maggi Richard
“Marriages are made in Heaven” I think almost everyone of you must have heard these lines at some or the other point of your lives, right? I had also heard this. But, with the flow of time and experiences as a therapist my perspective on it changed. Every marriage does not culminate in being an ever-lasting, heavenly, beautiful affair. Sometimes the strands of the marital relationship just break off for reasons known and at times, unknown. I have seen a lot of couples struggling to save their marriage. Some tend to be successful in it, while others just fall apart. When this happens its aftermath exerts great maladies in the form of psychological imbalance, societal stereotypes, and physical discomfort and so on. The list is endless and the pain associated with it too. So what forces someone to break the marriage vows and move out?
Let us look into some of the common reasons that lead to broken marriages:
- Lack of mutual understanding, support and trust
- Lack of compatibility
- Lack of mutual cooperation
- Lack of commitment and sense of responsibility
- Lack of communication and time
- Ego clashes
- Infidelity or breach of trust
- Marital expectations, abuse, marital rape and other such negative situations
- Inability to effectively cope with the stressors and pressures of marriage
- Third-person involvement and chaos/confusions/doubts related to it
- Continuous misbehavior with each other
- Marital crisis, physiological factors
- Inability to hold each other’s hands in disease or times of need
Whatever the reason of breaking the bond of marriage, it leads to a lot of physical, psychological, social, professional, familial and situational turmoil. For some life just ceases and becomes gruesome. For some others it’s like getting freedom from an over-burdening relationship. Broken marriages have their own significance and implication depending on the reason for which it broke and the couple related to it.
Negative effects of broken marriage
Let me tell you some of the repercussions of broken marriages:
- Stress, anxiety and depression
- Familial pressures and stressors
- Stereotypical behavior of the society
- Stigma and discrimination in some case
- Changes in sleep and diet patterns, lifestyle changes
- Negative effects on other family members especially if there are small children or teenagers
- Financial crises, and so on
The reasons and repercussions are obviously known to the ones who decide to split. For them their marriage is never like a fairy tale. It ends up becoming a scar that they would remember for the rest of their lives. Sometimes when situations become too overwhelming to bear it becomes very necessary to move out of it. This can be a survival phase for some. Therefore, none of us should despise the ones who have faced broken marriages in their lives as they would be having their own painful stories to tell.
Life does not end if a marriage ends. You still have miles to go and milestones to achieve in case your marriage breaks. If one relationship fell apart, it does not mean that every relationship is like that. I have seen a lot of men and women effectively cope with their lives even after going through the phase of broken marriage. If you want to know some of the success stories of people who survived broken marriages and who are leading a fulfilling life today, then check out my next blog folks!
“When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece gets lost — the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to, the whole shape has changed.” – David Levithan, Will Grayson