Wedding cards beautifully decorated and sent to relatives, mouth-watering cuisines served, mesmerizingly adorned with her wedding attire and ornaments… Dr J got married with her husband amid traditional hymns, pomp and ceremony. The wedding gala was not less than a dream. Her parents left no stoned unturned to make her wedlock a magical and perfect one.
However, life sometimes takes unknown turns and we are not always on the charge of the anchor to change its course. Dr J’s marital life turned into a worst life event and nightmare once she stepped into her in-laws place. Physical abuse and mental torture became the call of the day. Starting from marital rape to domestic violence… She had to bear the brunt of everything that a girl would never have thought in her most terrible visions.
Glimpse of Dr J’s Life before Marriage
She was beautiful like an angel, she was the most intelligent and well-behaved girl among the siblings. Her sincerity, dedication and goodwill were her hallmarks. She was very studious and was always in the good books of her teachers. She was talented in extra-curricular activities too. She sung songs like a nightingale. Her mesmerizing songs and melodious voice had the power to take her listeners to a whole new world altogether! She was the only girl child in her family and had an elder brother too. Therefore, she was the most pampered one. Dr J was very kind, understanding and helped her peers in every way she could.
Dr J excelled in her studies. She wanted to help the ailing. That is why she pursued her higher studies in Homeopathy. She became a Homeopathy Doctor and today she is helping people through her goodness and knowledge in one of the leading hospitals.
In short, Dr J’s life prior to her marriage was a gifted one with happiness, health, goodwill, and everything one would ever wish for.
Lull before the Storm
Dr J’s parents and family ensured that the wedding and the rituals take place in a smooth and sound manner. They left no stone unturned to make the arrangements, make jeweleries for her, and give expensive appliances, vehicle and everything that her in-laws demanded. The home environment was bubbling with happiness and charms, smiles and hopes. But, this was just like a lull before the storm. The worst was yet to come and slice their souls apart.
The overwhelming life episodes
Life after marriage for Dr J was a hellish experience. Day in and day out she had to suffer verbal and emotional abuse by her in-laws. At first, she could not infer all these. She thought may be it was a natural behavioral style of in-laws. But, day by day things worsened. One day her in-laws took her to her parent’s house and returned all the gold ornaments that her parents had given her. They demanded for more gold and said they would accept Dr J back only if they give more gold and other stuff. Since her parents had no way out, they adhered to what her in-laws said. She underwent through marital rape numerous times. Then, there was a phase when her husband did not return back home for nights altogether. When she asked her mother-in-law, she said that he has a night shift in work. Finally, the worst happened one day. It was a festival in their house and amid all guests; a lady arrived with two small girls. When Dr J asked about her, she said she was the first wife of Dr J’s husband and the two girls were their daughters.
Dr J’s life changed for a lifetime after she knew this. First her life came to a halt as she had no idea how to move ahead in life. Then, she thought to stand up for herself and fight back. She slammed a case on her husband and he was caught red-handed from his first wife’s home. His first wife was a prostitute and he married Dr J only because of money and ulterior motives. Then Dr J filed a divorce against him. He never came to the court sessions. But, after Dr J’s strong reaction finally he had to bow down. The divorce case is yet to settle down now. But, the best decision that Dr J took was to walk out and put an end to the horrendous marriage.
She lost her virginity, she lost her money and materials… The society stigmatized her and relatives went away… From personal loss to social loss, Dr J suffered in every dimension of her life due to the marriage. But, she did not give up. She decided to live life to its fullest as she had not done anything wrong.
Some motivating ideals she has in her life are:
- We cannot change the past, but we have the potential to work in the present and beautify our future.
- Life is for once; if today there is pain… Tomorrow there will be happiness too. So live on, and do not give up.
Dr J aspires to be a skilled Doctor one day and help the ailing in every way she can. She wants to adopt a girl child so that she can groom the girl into a strong, independent and responsible citizen and human being altogether. So, what are the guiding factors that help one to survive a broken marriage? Here are some key points:
- Strong determination and will-power
- Acceptance of reality
- Working towards self-acceptance and self-development
- Looking into one’s strong points and working on them
- Looking into the future with hope rather than lack of faith
- Positive thinking and self-affirmations
- Unclenching desire to move forward no matter how the situations are or how the society reacts
- The strong urge to live life like a legendary warrior and fight against all odds
- The urge to live life… No matter what.
After all it is your life, and no one has the right to take it away from you. It is your life and you are the best person who can do every justice to it!!! So folks, its time to stand up, believe in you, shed the shackles of pain and take charge!!!