Human emotions are the wonderful aspects and assets of life. Without emotions, our life would be so mundane and colorless, isn’t it? Technically there are six basic emotions (viz. happiness, sadness, fear, anger, disgust and surprise), but in practical life we tend to experience innumerable hues and shades of emotions. In short, emotions are the colors that give expression and meaning to the entire fabric of your life.
Problems arise when emotions start controlling you, rather than you controlling your emotions. Among all the emotions that I said above, anger is the emotion that can have devastating effects on the person, people related to him and his surrounding as a whole. Anger not only harms your body and mind but is also a potential threat to the safety and emotional world of others. If not managed properly, anger leaves a deep imprint on you, your loved ones and the ones who became the innocent victim of your anger. Therefore, if you feel that your anger is puffing up and is getting out of control, then it is best to try and work on anger management.
People always think that there is a certain age for something; it is easy to change or transform oneself during the early years of life and so on. But, in real life it is not like that. If you are determined to achieve something, then you will get all the strength to achieve that irrespective of your age, ethnicity, gender, etc. Determination and perseverance are the two guiding stars that help man to cross the deepest seas and climb the mightiest mountains of life.
Let me tell you a true inspirational life story of Mr. X (Name changed) who made real progress in controlling his anger and also developed his own new anger management technique. I am proud to be his therapist. If you think that it is only in the earlier stages of life that we can make changes within ourselves, then let me tell you that at the age of 84, Mr. X groomed himself into a person who has greatly improved control over his anger and emotions. He is dynamic, he is filled with youthful energies and above all he is always ready to make positive changes in his life. During the formative years of his life, Mr. X was taught to bottle up his emotions and anger rather than understanding more about them or learning to cope with them effectively. In due course of his life he also confronted many difficult situations. This was not his fault. Each time you are angry, I guess most of the time you would have been also told to calm down or do something else. In worst case, may be you would have been spanked or shouted back for throwing your anger tantrums. This is natural. This happens in most of the households. But, sometimes we need to see things the other way round. When we start looking at things, people and situations through the lens of empathy, understanding and acceptance, the whole world changes within and around us. Mr. X did the same thing. Even if his anger issues were bothering him, he did not sit quietly. He stood up and worked towards anger management. First he tried to accept the fact that he has anger issues, then he started looking at things and situations with more patience and understanding and finally he worked hard to kick off anger out of his life.
Starting from relaxation techniques to realization and reformation… he did not leave a single leaf unturned. Even at this age he did it! Mr. X invented his own anger management technique. I would like to share his valuable words and techniques with you too. Here they are:
The “APOX “ Technique
A = Awareness that I am upset and then accepting it, and stop beating myself with a guilt trip about my feeling angry.
P = Pause: Count to 10, relax, short-circuit the automatic rage response by taking control of the situation.
O = Options: Think of various options I have to respond, what the consequences of each would be, then choose.
X = Express myself in the way I have chosen.
There! Having written it down, I feel better already.
So folks, controlling and dealing with anger is not impossible. If Mr. X could do it at the age of 84 then I think you all can do it too. I read somewhere that Anger and Danger are the same and have only one letter difference. Anger leads to danger. Therefore, do not let anger issues overpower you. If you or your loved ones are facing anger related problems then please try to put Mr. X’s techniques into action. You will surely gain relief. You can also get professional help by starting our online anger management program. We are eagerly waiting to help you deal with and eradicate your anger issues and potential problems.
Every emotion is necessary and obvious… so is anger too. But, everything depends on the depth and intensity of emotions, their expression and who controls whom…
My sincere gratitude to Mr. X who was a wonderful client, whose dedication towards life and change inspired me to spread his enlightening wisdom and determination everywhere.
Wonderful technique to eradicating anger. Good one I must say. I want to borrow this APOX techniques with refference to online anger management program for my book on the fear of man in the coming extinction, which anger is part of the topic discussed in the book.